indulging in the nothing

me and the city

it feels like sunday, this evening. it is pitch black outside and the lighting in my room looks like a bonfire's.
i've been in and out of my pyjamas the whole day - the one time i went out to get something done i got caught in a freezing rain and came running home. let hot water run over my broken hands and said goodbye to my mascara. once you decide on staying in (for the rest of the day), being home and alone feels perfect. close to perfect. because you've settled on something. settled on being home, in hoodies and around coffee, laptop on and off, bathtub full, tv program memorized, gazing out of my dirty windows.
now listening to the radio dept.. swedish band with song titles so simple so great: "i wanted you to feel the same", "someone else", "the worst taste in music", "where damage isn't already done".
i should be doing everything else.
but everything else bores me.

love to nothingness.